The problem is consistency. Every time I managed to create or learn something new, I had to exercise consistency. To learn a new frontend technology, I watched and rewatched a YouTube course until things started to “click.” And it didn’t happen over a few days, it took at least four weeks. This is a minimal example, but it serves the purpose, because with all the other important things I’ve learned or produced, I kept coming back for weeks, months, even years.

On another occasion when I exercised consistency, I planned and created a short video creation app for social networks, VideoStories, and the lack of consistency eventually led me to abandon it. These days, as I’m all over the place - and even my writing feels anxious - I’ve realized that the problem has always been consistency. For a moment, the vision of anything is crystal clear, and the next moment it’s gone.

Another example is the recurring idea of creating a game: I see the map, I see the gameplay fun, I sit down to plan, and after just a few hours, the vision is no longer there. It’s the same with running a company, wanting to create products (and learning the necessary skills, like drawing). It even happened with activities that made me feel really good, like meditation.

I’m scattered everywhere, and therefore nowhere at all. At least not long enough to actually create something. Even in this text, halfway down the page, the words become more difficult. Inconsistent.

At some point, I learned how to plan. What’s the scope? How to break it into stages? How do I know when it’s finished? What structure allows it to function independently of me? Could this be a way to overcome inconsistency?

Yet all these things are subject to (or limited by) consistency. Why is there a lack of consistency? What is it, really? Am I translating it correctly, or is it something else? Is it some kind of energy? Just an expectation? I've studied Chinese for a year and then stopped. Is the vision just a temporary passion? If I maintain the vision, does consistency follow? Or will everything make sense someday? Like in Steve Jobs’ famous speech: you can only connect the dots afterward.

Computer, programming, money, discovering how things work, learning Chinese, learning to draw, starting a company, expressing oneself, being creative. All these professional passions have created so many visions, but they all disperse in the absence of consistency.

Where will all this lead? Is the problem consistency? I’m not sure anymore. Maybe it’s about falling in love with so many new things, being dazzled by countless visions. When a new one comes along, the old ones are cast aside, and thus nothing is truly learned or created.

So what’s the solution to learning and creating when you want to learn and create too much?